In fact, Dineen tells SELF that Tinder’s where she met her own partner of five years.ĭineen also likes Hinge, another popular option on our list, where “you’ll find users from 18 to 50” looking for love. With its enormous pool of potential matches (users go on 1.5 million dates per week worldwide), Tinder is a top pick for both Wood and dating coach Alyssa Dineen, StyleMyProfile founder and author of The Art of Online Dating: Style Your Most Authentic Self and Cultivate a Mindful Dating Life. What is the best dating app for a serious relationship? “If there’s a connection, see where that goes. Wood’s final rule of thumb: Keep the initial messaging period brief and just meet up already (as long as you heed the safety advice below, of course). And for those who need to hear this, she reminds you that “you don’t need to respond to every message.” Instead, to avoid dating-app burnout, conserve your energy for talking with people you find genuinely intriguing. Or, you might notice someone’s profile lists tons of dating deal breakers and declarations like “don’t message me if you’re into ghosting.” This suggests they might not be in a positive headspace for a healthy relationship, according to Wood. Wood also encourages clients to develop “a keen eye for what people are ‘saying’ behind what they’re saying.” For example, late-night DMs that just say “ur gorgeous” likely won’t lead to anything productive if you’re seeking candidates for a serious relationship, she says. “That’s going to attract all sorts of people, some of which you might not want.” “I see a lot of bios that are extremely vague-it’s like, ‘Here’s a couple of photos of me I’m looking to meet new people!’” she says. In other words, you don’t need to be some perfect version of yourself to find a romantic or hookup partner-that’s an unrealistic goal for all of us!-but an awareness of your past romantic challenges and relationship patterns will likely set you up for a better experience.Īnother question you might want to ask yourself: “How can I maximize the time I’m putting into the dating app game?” Tennesha Wood, dating coach and founder of The Broom List matchmaking agency for Black professionals, tells SELF that it’s important to communicate exactly what type of connection you’re looking for in your profile so you don’t waste time weeding through people who aren’t on the same page. Ultimately those burgeoning sites have a smaller pool of users to draw from, which means you might pay a premium for only a handful of options that may or may not be a good fit.“People will often go on dating apps and they’re not really working on themselves-yet they’re hoping to meet someone who has done all of this inner work and is this amazing person,” Johnson says. MeetMindful: Some of the smaller dating sites promise more thoughtful connection and match curation, which is what my clients who are ready to settle down desire.As I'll get into next, it's not exactly a numbers game. Match and OkCupid both have a wide base of users, which means more access, but it's a toss-up if you'll find people actively using the app who are your type on any given day. Hinge, OkCupid, or Match: Consider if you want to go a little deeper than swiping, Hinge allows for more engagement with a profile, the user experience is pretty seamless, and many of my clients find success there.Bumble: Try if unsolicited messages make you nervous and you want more control over the messaging process (since women make the first move).If you're looking here, just know that because it's the platform with the most users ( 8.5 million to be exact), you might have to weed through even more options before landing a connection.
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